There was a meme a while ago that was a map of the world and you colored in the countries you've been too... anyone know when about that was happening? We are trying to confirm something for a project for Jim's memorial thingy....

Ray

If you have photos of Yourself and Jim could you send them to me -
ray@artwhore.com

I wanna have a background slide show of Jim and Friends for this weekends Celebration

Thanks
Ray

What:
A gathering to celebrate the life of Jim Daniel: traveler, educator, man about town!

When:
Sunday January 27th, 2008
1pm
Presentation, Reception and Jim type food!

Where:
San Francisco Art Institute
800 Chestnut St., San Francisco, CA 94133



If you wish to make a donation, a scholarship fund for SFAI students to study abroad is being founded in Jim’s name. He was a very strong believer in education and that a student benefits from living and learning in foreign cultures. A collection box will be at the celebration.
Make checks payable to San Francisco Art Institute
and in the memo section please write Jim Daniel Fund. Thank you.

Other things you can do:
Please visit Jim's on line memorial Jim's on line memorial</a>to read and add too Jim’s on line memorial.
Quite a few people who have registered for Jim’s memorial Page, but oddly enough never got their password so they could post their stories about Jim.

Here are two possible solutions if you are one of these people or encounter this problem.
1 – check your SPAM or TRASH or JUNK folder in your email. Some folks have found it in there.
2 – if you do not wish too or simply can’t register you can use this user name and password
USERNAME: friend
PASSWORD: friend
But if you use this, please put your email and who you are in the body of the text somewhere.

You can still visit Cafe Press and buy a Patterns in Radiation Oncology tee-shirt or mug.
All proceeds that have come from this venture are going to the scholarship in Jim’s name.

Thanks to the efforts of Kevin simonbear , a memorial page for Jim has been set up. Jim's Memorial Page

If you have some time, please stop by and add your memories of Jim. You will need to register, but it’s painless.
I know a lot of you have shared stories and thoughts on LJ of Jim, but I would like to have them in a new place for his family and non-LJ people to add to them. So if you want to cut and paste what you have already shared that would be fine with me. Please feel free to add photos like you do in LJ or there is an upload a photo button.

The whole thing will be available at Jim’s Life Celebration in January.

The date has been set - Sunday, January 27th
Place: San Francisco Art Institute

Nothing else has been planned yet but I do know some folks that wanted to fly in for the event now know a time and place. More concrete details will follow.

love to you all
Ray

Quite a few people have already contacted me in reference to a memorial service and flowers and donations.
Currently I am working on a memorial service in San Francisco for sometime in January.
Also in leu of flowers, I am working on some sort of scholarship fund for international students or studies abroad. I will keep you all aware.

And THANK YOU ALL for your love and support. Reading responces to my posts have been both heartbreaking and warming.

Love you all
Ray

I am having the hardest time trying to write this update on Jim’s health. He’s not dead. That is to say his body is still breathing and reacting to pain and pain medication, but aside from that, he’s not really alive either.

Jim is lying in bed and mostly out of it in some dreamlike state. His body jerks and twitches in small spasms. The nurse feels that these are reactions to tumors that are pressing on nerves through out his body.
Jim’s body is a mass of tumors and mostly atrophied muscles. The tumors of visible and it’s hard to touch him with out feeling one. I have held him as we’ve turned him on his side to clean him and what I feel is not healthy living tissue. The muscles are spongy and the tumors are hard and they exist under the same skin – but not always.
Jim’s dressings are large. He has one on his back, two on his left leg and two under his right arm area. These are places where the tumors have broken through. They bleed and ooze and they have a specific odor that I know is the smell of cancer. The dressings hold back the blood, but the smell often escapes.
And because there is a great amount of pain involved in changing them, because of the movement, we cannot change them as often as they should. But in the big picture, these are minor.
Jim’s eyes are not always closed all the way and they dart around sometime, but mostly they are rolled back and you see the whites. But in those moments of clarity, he looks right at you and you get a sense he knows exactly what’s going on.
Jim has only moments of clarity – enough to say he needs to pee or is thirsty, but his tongue is thick and sometimes he talks in his sleep, so it’s difficult to understand him.
Jim’s pain medication is strong. And today we’ve added morphine as a regular, round the clock medication, not just as needed.
Jim’s nurse said Jim had maybe two weeks and told me what I should be looking for – that was three weeks ago. During this time I have been listening for a loud gurgle in his throat and erratic breathing and toes that turn blue. But only his breathing has been off and it’s more like apnea more then what I was told to expect.
However Jim is young. His body is fighting to live for as long as it can. In July there was no cancer in vital organs, and no one can say for sure where the cancer is internally, but estimation would say that it has spread in there.
So we wait. We care for Jim and keep him as comfortable as possible as we wait for the inevitable.
And this coming Sunday is his birthday.


Ray

Last Monday even Jim said he was optimistic, but by Wednesday, he wasn’t – and neither am I.

His nurse and I noticed that there is a discoloration on Jim’s abdomen – on either side of where the tumors are. Kelsey (Jim’s nurse) said it’s not a good sign and left.

I then had my last run in with Kaiser. I called to clarify why I should be paying $300 to meet with Jim’s oncologist. I was told that since I am not the patient, I am seeing the Dr. as an outsider. I explained that I was his legal partner – his voice – his proxy. Still they said that I would have to pay the fee and deal with it after the fact. I got the impression that they were ‘going out of their way’ to help me. I asserted myself and said how ridiculous this whole process has been and how Kaiser has not played fair or timely.

Apparently my rant set off a domino effect because Kelsey came back to us in the afternoon to talk to me. Apparently Kaiser called them and blew up – questioning their actions including “not reporting discoloration of Jim’s urine.”
I was amazed and Kelsey said not to worry – they know that the Kaiser has the facts wrong and because they are contracted felt like their hands are tied. Kelsey then posed an offer – that Jim go into their hospice facility. Although this is a nice idea, Jim wouldn’t want to go and we didn’t see how that would help except maybe the oncologist would see him there, but the drama of being transported just wouldn’t be good. I asked Kelsey her opinion and she said that even though she is not a Doctor, she doesn’t think Jim has much time and the best thing to do now is to make him as comfortable as possible. The darkness around his stomach could be dying tissue or clogged blood – either way, hope has now diminished.

Jim is sleeping a lot – when he’s awake he rambles on about work projects and tv shows and other things that don’t make a lot of sense. He’s in his own dream world and I guess it’s a good place cause he does giggle now and again.

I called the oncologist to cancel my Saturday meeting and was shrugged off to the Kaiser referral service where I was lectured about how Kaiser North California and Kaiser South California are different. I told them that other Dr.s I’ve talked to have called Kaiser the Costco of Health Care – and I tend to believe that. I was told those Dr.s are unprofessional. I said letting a man die because of bureaucracy was unprofessional and more to the point uncaring. Thrive My Ass. I also informed them that I was happy to change my policy so that I no longer carry them for insurance. I finalized saying that I had no more time to waste with Kaiser at this point and that my time was better spent with my husband in his final days.

Saturday we had a visit from Diana Kelly - a consoler/nurse who specializes in death and dying issues. She brought her bulldog and met with Jim. I picked up a rather heavy two-year-old named Ishmael and held him up to Jim. It was the first time in a very long time I saw Jim’s eyes light up through his drugged fog. He tried to pet him but moving was difficult. I took the dog to the other room and Diane sat with Jim. They talked for a bit – but not long. He asked some questions about what’s to come and she answered as best as she could. She is used to dealing with atheists and that’s what was needed. Jim tired and she came out to talk to me. Ishmael was jumpy at first but then calmed down – but he could tell when I was crying and tried to comfort me.

So now we wait. Jim’s parents come on Wednesday. I know he will make it to Thanksgiving but I doubt Jim will make it much past that. But I don’t know. I’m not a Doctor.

I just called the oncologist to make the Saturday appointment for me to meet with him to discuss Jim's case. I was told it is cash or check only for $300

Doesn't that seem a bit odd?